Boundaries and Our Family


Genesis 2:24-25

A busy–and wealthy–grandfather phoned his grandson to cancel an appointment to go to the movies. The grandson did not seem interested in his grandfather’s reasons for his cancellation. Instead, the grandson kept interrupting his grandfather’s apology by asking him to make the sound of a frog. Finally, the grandfather asked his grandson why it was so important that he make the sound of a frog. “Because,” the little boy explained, “I just heard Dad tell Mom that we can’t afford to go to Disneyland until you croak.”

We do not develop habits of genuine love automatically. We learn by watching effective role models – most specifically by observing how our parents express love for each other day in and day out. A house is built of logs and stone, of piles and posts and piers; A home is built of loving deeds that stand a thousand years.

Encouragement in a family is like a peanut butter sandwich–the more you spread, the better the sandwich sticks together.

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. Marriage is a vow that one man and one woman make to each other. A vow is a solemn promise or pledge that binds a person to perform a specified act or to behave in a certain manner. All vows are made to God. Vowing was voluntary. But after a vow was made, it had to be performed. Vows, therefore, were to be made only after careful consideration.

Once the vows have been made to each other, boundaries have been established. By all means marry; if you get a good wife, you’ll become happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher. –Socrates In marriage fidelity becomes a boundary. One remains faithful to the person they have committed themselves too. Adultery takes place when one crosses that boundary. Sometimes it really is just about sex. But most affairs are conducted primarily on the telephone rather than in bed. Affairs aren’t as intensely sexual as you’d think. It’s not like in the movies.” The essence of an affair is in “establishing a secret intimacy with someone” — a secret that necessarily, must be defended with dishonesty. Infidelity, isn’t about “whom you lie with. It’s whom you lie to.” To think of infidelity mainly in terms of sex is actually the first step toward rationalizing it. “You have heard that it was said, `Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27) In marriage there is a spiritual boundary. Believers are forbidden to marry non-believers. An eight year old boy asked his girlfriend to marry him. She turned him down, saying that in her family only relatives married. She explained, “If you and me were relatives we could get married, but we’re not. In my family my daddy married my mother. My grandpa married my grandma, and all my uncles married my aunts. So you see, we can’t get married, cause we’re not relatives. The believer is forbidden to divorce the non-believer that wants to remain married. Husbands are to be the spiritual head of the home, but frankly I find more wives being the spiritual head then I do the husbands.

1 Peter 3:7 Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers. The boundary of mutual benefit. For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh. They become a priority to each other. (1 Cor 7:3) The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife’s body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband’s body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer.

A happy family is but an earlier heaven.

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